Ruby had physical therapy today. She rolled over again by herself and we worked together on some more muscle activities with her great therapist Mellissa. These can be wonderful but hard for me. I wish she didn't need physical therapy at all. I wish I felt that she was totally totally 100% healed already and didn't look any different than the other babies. I constantly have to stop myself from measuring her success of failures . It's not going to serve me well raising her later or my 3 yr. old. Lucy wanted to cuddle with Ruby today so I let her. It's still about Ruby "surviving her sister" on a daily basis. Lucy can be um...."spirited."
I cried out to God today after her session..tears....."God I'm praying. I'm reading. I'm standing in faith. I'm doing everything. I m trying to rest ....then I see something I don't like and I just think there's more I should do. Is it my faith that will determine when her healing manifests? If so...how can I be more faithful? And yet God you tell me it's done. You tell me not to worry that I won't be put to shame. That anyone who puts their faith in you will NOT be put to shame Psalm 25! I'm doing it God! I'm putting it out there. I need you to step in ! Please help me today.
I prayed over Ruby God healed you from all diseases! All Ruby! Today she rolled over again. She is strong!
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